I feel...blah

I just got off the phone with my mom, and needless to say, the conversation was depressing. My grandmother has been quickly declining in health. I’ve heard various diagnoses, including leukemia, but no one knew for sure. While the test results are not back, the fact that my mother & aunt had a conversation with my grandmother about doing chemotherapy or not, and about her remaining life indicates to me that it most likely is leukemia. And that sucks.

I not only feel bad, but hearing my mom essentially start to break down on the phone has put me in a downer-type mood. It’s one of those moods when you feel like doing absolutely nothing because nothing really matters.

And I feel like an ass because I haven’t visited or called as much as I should have. Reason being is that I hated the guilt trip she played every time I stopped by. It was the whole ‘pity me’ act that included putting down other family members because they refused to become her bitch. Take the following example of one reason she was pissed at my parents. My parents called her on a Sunday and said they were out and about and asked if she needed groceries, especially milk & bread. She told them no. Mid-day Monday, she calls them to ask if they can get her milk. Now, they both were busy and were unable to stop by, so she got mad. Why she didn’t tell them Sunday night, I don’t know. So every time I would visit, I would hear about how different family members were not being helpful, etc. and it annoyed me.

Maybe that’s a selfish reason to not visit, and maybe I’ll look back on these times and think of what a jerk I’ve been.

Trying to see the positive side of the situation, but could definitely use a set of blinders…

Who could that be?

Haven't posted for a while because I've been busy with finals and then work, but I was reading an article today concerning the poisoning death of a Russian. The murder took place last year and the London gov't (where the murder took place) is looking to extradite a former Russian KGB member to face charges.

However, the reason I'm writing is because of the following paragraph:
“Murder is murder, this is a very serious case,” Blair’s spokesman said while speaking to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity in line with government policy. “The manner of the murder was also very serious because of the risks to public health.”

I added the emphasis above. I don't get how someone can be speaking on the condition of anonymity if the same sentence details their position? It's like saying the President of the United States, speaking on condition of anonymity... I know who the person is. I might not know his specific name, but since I know his job title, I can figure out his name. How the hell is that anonymous? Even if that's a government policy to not speak, being identified by your job title seems to negate the policy. Who cares if your name is not mentioned, everyone knows who talked.

Just felt like sharing...