24 years

fuck you for leaving
fuck you for dying

I've always wanted you but you were never there
they say it's not your fault
I say it's not your fault
but it doesn't make it go away

time doesn't heal, no matter what the cliche says...

"Keep your fork"

Found this making it's rounds on the internet, so thought I'd share:

There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes.

She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.

Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.

"There's one more thing," she said excitedly.
"What's that?" came the Pastor's reply
"This is very important," the young woman continued. "I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand."
The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.
"That surprises you, doesn't it?" the young woman asked
"Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the Pastor.

The young woman explained. "My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone
would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming.....like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!'

So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder "What's with the fork?" Then I want you to tell them: "Keep your fork, the best is yet to come."

The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge.. She KNEW that something better was coming.

At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, "What's with the fork?" And over and over he smiled.

During his message, the pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either.

Randomness

What Color Is Your Toothbrush? Blue and white

Name One Person That Made You Smile Today? Rachel, even though it was because I was rereading a previous email.

What Were You Doing At 8 Am This Morning? Probably tying my tie or my shoes.

What Were You Doing 45 Minutes Ago?  Taking the dog out for a shit.

What Is Your Favorite Candy?  Nutrageous or

Have You Ever Been To A Strip Club?   Yes

What's the last thing you said out loud?  "Good girl" to the dog

What Is The Best Ice Cream Flavor?  Mint Chocolate Chip

What Was The Last Thing You Had To Drink? Diet Coke

What Is The Longest You Have Gone Without Sleeping?  Probably somewhere between 24-48 hours

Have You Ever Made A Promise You'd Die To Keep?  Yes

Have You Bought Any New Clothing Items This Week? Actually, I bought two pairs of shoes online. Other than that, no.

The Last Sporting Event You Watched?  College basketball while at the gym

What Is Your Favorite Flavor Of Popcorn?   Cheese popcorn or original

Who Is The Last Person You Sent A Message To On Facebook?  no clue.

Ever Go Camping?  Numerous times.

Do You Take Vitamins Daily?  No

Do You Go To Church Every Sunday?  I don't believe in organized religion

Do You Have A Tan?  No, it's winter.

Do You Drink Your Soda With A Straw? Only if the cup has a lid (like a restaurant/to-go cup)

What Did Your Last Text Message Say?  "I'm watching storage wars. & sober"

What Are You Doing Tomorrow? not much of anything

Where Is Your Dad?  6 feet under

Look To Your Left, What Do you see? DVDs

What Color Is Your Watch? Haven't worn a watch in a long time

What Do You Think Of When You Hear Australia?  Fosters.  Australian for beer.

What did you do yesterday?  went to work, came home, read a book, slept

Do You Go In At A Fast Food Place Or Just Hit The Drive Thru?  Usually Drive Thru

What Is Your Favorite Number? 21

Who's The Last Person You Talked To On The Phone?  co-worker

Any Plans Today?   nope

Biggest Annoyance In Your Life Right Now? My life itself?

Last Song Listened To?  no clue

Can You Say The Alphabet Backwards? probably, but not quickly

Do You Have A Maid Service Clean Your House? No

Favourite pair of shoes: don't have a favorite pair

Are You Jealous Of Anyone? no

Is Anyone Jealous Of You? no clue

Do You Love Anyone? Yes.

What Do You Usually Do During The Day?  Work.

Do You Hate Anyone That You Know Right Now?  I don't 'hate' anyone, though there are a few people I'm not a fan of.

Do You Use The Word 'hello' Daily? probably no

Do You Like Cats?  not really, but I've had cats before

Have You Ever Been To Six Flags? Think I may have once, but wasn't much fun

How Did You Get Your Worst Scar?  probably from surgery (either my knee or back)

Last Injury?  don't remember

Last Cd Played?  not an f'in clue

Last Bubble Bath? who knows

Last Time You Cried?  months or years ago maybe

Last Meal? Wawa hoagie & soup

Have You Ever Dated Someone Twice?  Yes, one person, but neither time worked out

Have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it?  No

Have You Ever Fallen In Love?  Not sure

Have You Ever Lost Someone? Yes.

Have You Ever Slept Until 1pm? Absolutely.

Have You Ever Been Drunk And Threw Up?  Absolutely

List Five People You Tell Pretty Much Anything To?  don't have 5 people...not sure I even have 3

List Three Favorite Colors: Blue, Red, Black

Laughed until you cried:  Yes.

Gay Marriage? Don't see why not.  To each his own.

Lowering The Drinking Age?   Yes

Do You Believe In Love At First Sight? Not at all.  Lust? yes

How Many Kids Do You Want To Have?  1 or 2

Do You Want To Change Your Name?   No.

Last Time You Saw Your Father? 24 years ago

What Time Did You Wake Up Today? 7:13

How Old Are You? 28

What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night? Sleeping

What Is Your Favorite Thing In Your Room? picture of me & my dad

Where Is/Are Your Best Friend(s) Right Now?  Not anywhere close by :(