Fear

"One of the things important to Emily was not the fear of death, but the fear of not living," the Rev. E. Faith Bell said after the service.

I started this post a week or two ago, so I unfortunately cannot remember who Emily is (while I could search the internet for the quote, I kind of like the anonymity). I was reading a news article and saw this quote. Now granted, I really enjoy quotations for many reasons. Most quotes have different layers of meanings and have the ability to mean different things to different people.

So when I found this quote, it just jumped out at me. I've long had a semi-serious fear of death. Often times throughout the day I picture my death happening. If I'm driving, I can see myself crashing the car. It just weird and sometimes freaks me out. But this quote is making me think about all of this.

Instead of fearing death, fear not living.

Not living. Each person presumably has their own definition of what this means. My definition of not living is letting life pass you by without capitalizing on the opportunities that come along. At times, I feel that is how I am going through life and I realize that's not what I want. In the moments before I die (whenever that may be), while I'm going through the customary life flashback (ok, might not happen, but it works in the movies so I'm going with it), I want my last thoughts to be of relaxation. Relaxation because I lived my life. Because I helped others less fortunate than me. Because the lives of all those around me are improved just for the simple fact of knowing me. Because I lived.